Metal in South Park
by Shadowgate
Summary: Jeff Hanneman was one of the greatest guitar players to ever live. I've been depressed over his death and I've finally written this fan fic in his memory.


Metal Time in South Park

By Shadowgate

…...

I'd like to dedicate this fan fiction story to the late Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman. His death has been a shock to many.

…

Kenny was in his room playing Black Sabbath by the band Coven and swaying back and forth. As time went by and more songs off the CD had been played Kenny's mom took notice.

She came into his room and asked what it was he was listening to and he told her the band was Coven and it was their one album released in 1969.

Carol McCormick said "well Kenny you need to stop playing that CD because it's scary. Your sister Karen is scared."

Karen replied "no it didn't scare me."

Carol shot back "yes it did."

Kenny took the CD out of the CD player and put it in his pocket before his mom could snatch it and then there was a knock on the door.

It was Stan and Stan told Kenny he saw a 1983 Slayer performance on YouTube that blew him away.

Kenny pointed out that Slayer's guitarist Jeff had passed away and Kenny mentioned "dying really sucks!"

Stan said "well I can imagine so" and then Stewart yelled "WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS NOISE?"

Carol yelled "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

When Stewart came to the door he said "oh it's Gerald's son Stan the little Jew boy."

Stan said "Kyle's is Gerald's son not me."

Stewart said "oh."

Stan mumbled under his breath "rectum licker."

Stewart snapped "what was that?"

Stan answered "beautiful day we're having."

Carol came to the door and asked "what are you two planning on doing today?"

Kenny explained that he and Stan were going to watch Slayer concerts on YouTube and that their guitarist had just died.

Carol got mad and said "Kenny I don't think that music is a good influence on you and I want you to be around good moral influences."

After making that statement Carol picked up a bottle of beer and started drinking it fast.

Stewart said "your mother is right Kenny."

Carol turned to Stewart and yelled "YOU DON'T COUNT AS A GOOD INFLUENCE YOU FUCKING NO GOOD BUM!"

Stewart replied back "why don't you suck my dick more often you nagging old house wife?"

Carol answered "women are good for more than sucking big dicks Goddamn it!"

Stewart replied "well you want to be mad all day then just be mad all fucking day. I don't give a fuck."

Carol snapped "you don't care about me or the kids."

Stewart replied "be mad about your problems and yell all the cuss words you want. Just yell across the Goddamn room I don't fucking care."

Carol said "everyday I get mad and yell about the problem across the Goddamn room."

Stewart then replied "yell it across the Goddamn room I don't care."

Kenny cut in and said "mom you and dad cuss so much you don't set a good example."

Carol said "Kenny don't be a smart ass or I'll spank you. Oh and I want you to stop listening to Slayer and Coven."

Stan said "well I sure don't want to listen to any tween wave crap."

Stewart said "listen Jew boy when I was your age we didn't say crap in front of adults."

Stan said "you know my dad's name is Randy and I'm not fucking Jewish."

Stewart said "oh yeah that's right you're Stan Marsh and I'm just drunk."

Stan said "I'll say you are."

Stan and Kenny take off and after that Carol said "Stewart you set a horrible example for our kids."

Stewart shot back "oh kiss my fucking ass."

In the mean time Kyle is upstairs listening to Van Halen's cover of Pretty Woman.

Kenny and Stan ring Kyle's door bell and then Kyle answers.

Stan asked if he was aware of the recent passing of Slayer's guitarist Jeff Hanneman and Kyle said yes.

They said that Cartman invited them over to watch Slayer concerts on Youtube and that they were going to meet up there.

They rushed over to Cartman's house and he let them in.

They started watching a 1985 Slayer Concert on YouTube and five minutes later Cartman's mom came into Cartman's room.

"Eric I was drinking whiskey with Kenny McCormick's mom and she said that you might be listening to Satanic rock music."

Cartman replied "who fucking cares what she said? Kenny's mom is a worthless drunken bitch."

Kenny punched Eric Cartman and then his mom spanked him and said "Eric the f-word is a no-no."

Stan said "Miss Cartman you look like you had some hard whiskey could I help you to your room?"

Miss Cartman turned to Stan and said "well that's very nice of you Stan but there's still the subject at hand."

Miss Cartman begins swaying back and forth and says she's dizzy but Stan prevented her from falling on her face.

Stan says "Miss Cartman your little Eric is sorry for listening to rock music and he won't do it again and now I'll help you to your bed."

Miss Cartman says "oh Stan you're such a gentlemen thank you."

Stan helped Miss Cartman to her room and when he got back to Cartman's room Kyle asked him "did you bang Cartman's mom?"

They laughed and Cartman got pissed.

Stan answered "no but she did offer to suck me off."

Cartman said "oh she did not."

Stan pulled out his cell phone and showed the recording of his experience taking Cartman's mom into her room and it was not to Cartman's liking.

"GODDAMN IT" Cartman yelled.

Stan said "not a word of this to Wendy and I declined Miss Cartman's offer to do me."

Cartman asked "shit can we please get back to the fucking Slayer video?"

Kyle answered "we sure can you son of a whore."

Cartman walked up to his computer while Stan whispered to Kyle "we should prank call Cartman tonight."

Kyle smiled and soon they were back to watching the 1985 Slayer Concert on YouTube.

The next day after school a club was held.

THE SOUTH PARK WIVES CLUB!

Counselor Mackey is at the center of the stage and said "attention please now I understand you all are concerned about some of the rock music that your kids are listening to. Among the groups you've named are Slayer, Marilyn Manson, and Korn."

Father Maxi gets up to speak and states "I stand by the South Park Wives Club and hope today's meeting will make a difference."

Carol McCormick stood up and spoke "I know my son Kenny is into this Satanic rock music."

Sharon Marsh stood up and said "we must monitor the music our kids listen to. I remember not long ago I was the first mother to make everyone aware of tween wave music."

Sharon got a round of applause.

Shelia Broflavski stood up and said "we're parents and we must stand firm as parents."

Outside the South Park Community Center where the meeting was being held Stan, Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny were outside listening in.

Stan turned to Kenny and said "I told Kyle during the war against Canada that he had to stand up to his mother. He did and now I say to you Kenny that you must do the same only take on all the mothers."

Kenny entered the community center and took off his hood.

He then yelled "Oh Father Maxi you fit in with the South Park Wives since you're sissified and have had relations with men in the past."

Maxi became angry and said to Kenny "children should be seen and not heard."

Kenny shot back "you dare to tell us what music we can listen to but you go off and screw tempest women? FUCK YOU!"

Kenny turned to Shelia Broflavski and asked "do you want another war in South Park?"

Shelia replied "no."

Kenny turned to Sharon Marsh and asked "remember you tried to take on the tween wave music and for what? Just because you hated the sound of it and nothing of relevance came of your stand against it."

Sharon sat down and then Kenny turned to his own mom and said "don't blame rock music for our dysfunctional family mom. You and dad along with your three kids all need to look in the mirror. Yes I want to help make our family life better."

Kenny then called in Cartman and said "play raining blood just like you did to scare off the hippies."

Cartman said "with pleasure."

Cartman blasts "raining blood" by Slayer and the kids all yell "FREEDOM!"

THE END


End file.
